The Female Orgasm: Why You Can’t Climax

Some women find it easier to achieve, while others take much longer to get there. While no two women’s orgasm experience is alike, it’s no doubt that orgasms feel good. If you’re questioning what the female orgasm feels like and are having trouble climaxing, keep reading to find out how to improve your experience in the bedroom. 

Types of Female Orgasms

Each woman’s experience of orgasms can be different, and not all women can experience every type. But they would agree that there’s more than one way to reach a climax. 

Experts say there are three kinds of female orgasms: 

1. Clitoral orgasm: Achieved by stimulation of the clitoris 
2. Vaginal orgasm: Involves stimulation of the vagina, either through penetration or external stimulation 
3. G-spot orgasm: Involves stimulation of the sensitive area (or G-spot) located on the front wall of the vagina 

Some women can climax using a combination of the above for a more intense experience, while others have difficulty reaching or have never experienced an orgasm. It also takes women a longer time to climax compared to men. So, why is it harder for women? 

Why You Can’t Climax 

A Journal of Sexual Medicine study reveals that female sexual dysfunction (FSD) is highly prevalent among women globally, with a large proportion of women experiencing multiple sexual dysfunctions. Female sexual dysfunction can include: 

• Genito-pelvic pain/penetration disorder: You experience significant pain when having intercourse.  
• Female sexual interest/arousal disorder: You’re interested in sex but have difficulty getting aroused during sexual activity.  
• Hypoactive sexual desire disorder: You have low sexual desire or interest. 
• Female orgasmic disorder (FOD): You’re unable to achieve orgasm. 

What TCM says about orgasms and sexual dysfunction 

In Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM), imbalances in the flow of energy or qi in the body can cause female sexual dysfunction. 

The two imbalances of qi that lead to female sexual dysfunction are: 

• Liver Qi Stagnation: “The Liver and Kidneys are associated with the reproductive organs. A lack of sexual desire is associated with stress, which can result in Liver Qi Stagnation,” says Physician Lim.  
• Kidney Deficiency: The Kidneys are also considered the source of sexual energy. “Liver and Kidney Yin Deficiency results in a dry vagina, which causes pain during sexual intercourse and makes it more difficult to orgasm. Women with this body constitution tend to experience night perspiration, thirst, and a short menstrual cycle. Kidney Yang Deficiency may also lead to low sexual desire,” explains Physician Lim. 

TCM Remedies to Enhance Orgasms 

If you’re experiencing more “mehs” in the bedroom and want more “ooohs”, TCM might be able to help. TCM’s holistic approach to health includes a combination of treatments to enhance sensation and orgasms.

These remedies and treatments are recommended to improve your chances of climaxing. However, consult a licensed TCM physician before trying any herbal remedies. Seek treatment from a professional acupuncturist for your acupuncture session. 

Acupuncture 

“A study on premenopausal women with hypoactive sexual desire disorder shows that acupuncture helps improve sexual function. There is an increase in desire, arousal, lubrication, and orgasm,” says Physician Lim. 

Herbal remedies 

There are TCM herbs that you can take to nourish your body and help with achieving orgasms. “Ease Liver qi with rose tea, mimosa tree bark (he huan pi, 合欢皮) or Xiao Yao San (消遥散) formula,” suggests Physician Lim. “You can also nourish Liver and Kidney yin with Zuo Gui Wan (左归丸) and replenish Kidney Fire with You Gui Wan (右归丸).” 

Diet therapy 

What you eat can make or break your chances of climaxing too. “Cut down on meat and sweets as they can result in Qi Stagnation. Vitamin B complex helps relieve the effects of stress on the body and helps you feel calm. Zinc calms the central nervous system, blackcurrant seed oil helps with hormonal transitions, and magnesium relaxes muscles,” Physician Lim says. 

Fruits such as apples, watermelon, and cacao have been linked to enhanced vascular and sexual health, too, so that’s your green light to enjoy more of these. 

Excessive alcohol and smoking can affect your orgasms and pleasure in the bedroom, so avoid those if you can. 

Exercise 

You want to get your qi circulating to increase your likelihood of climaxing, and gentle exercises like yoga and Qigong can enhance this. “Side stretches act on the Liver meridians and helps move Liver qi,” notes Physician Lim. 

Moxibustion 

This treatment can help move qi, which in turn helps with achieving orgasms. “Moxibustion ‘bakes’ acupoints with burning moxa wool and can be used on acupoints tian shu (ST25, 天枢), shen que (CVRN8, 神阙), zhong wan (CVRN 12, 中脘), and guan yuan (CVRN4, 关元) to benefit those with Kidney Yang Deficiency,” advises Physician Lim. 

Clinical Treatments 

Western medicine recommends the following solutions to help you achieve your sexual peaks:  

1. Medications like sildenafil (Viagra) or tadalafil (Cialis) may improve sexual function and enhance orgasm in some women. Hormonal therapies, like topical testosterone, can also help with sexual function. 
2. Pelvic physical therapy helps improve muscle tone and circulation in the pelvic region to enhance sexual function and orgasm. 
3. Lifestyle changes like reducing stress, improving sleep, exercising regularly, and even undergoing couples therapy may help overall sexual function and satisfaction. 

The female orgasm can be complex but satisfying once you achieve it. If you’re finding it difficult to climax, the tips and advice above are worth trying. Before starting a new treatment, consult a healthcare provider or licensed TCM physician to find the best approach for you. 

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